Woman overcomes domestic violence

Recovering from alleged shooting by husband, Kale works to help others

Katherine Rosenberg December 10, 2006

One year ago today, Kathy Kale was shot in the head, at point blank range, with a shotgun.

She still has three pellets lodged in her skull, and she is worried that she may lose vision in her right eye.

Despite those injuries, the last year has been no less than miraculous for Kathy Kale.

The woman that was left to die has learned to live.

It’s been quite a journey in the past 12 months. Her estranged husband, Michael Kale, was on the run for a week, but was eventually caught and charged with attempted premeditated and deliberate murder for the Dec. 10, 2005 shooting, but that case has yet to go before a judge.

Kathy Kale was evicted from her longtime Wrightwood home and left penniless when Michael went on the run and emptied their bank account. She received some assistance, but it wasn’t enough to get her on her feet.

After hearing her story, Daily Press readers overwhelmed our office with monetary donations and food and other household items, which helped Kale to take matters into her own hands for the first time in her life.

She took the last of her funds and got on a bus for Oceanside, where she stayed at the Women’s Resource Center for 30 days. She left there for the Women Empowering Women program at San Diego’s YWCA, where she still lives in a studio apartment in her final phase of treatment.

She works two jobs, enrolled in city college and has plans of becoming a Victims Rights Advocate, a certification she’ll complete in January.

Now, from her office in San Diego, you can hear the smile in Kathy Kale’s voice as she talks openly about her new life, the only real life she’s ever known.

“I ride on the trolley, I go to the beach, I go swimming almost everyday,” Kale said.

In her 23-year relationship with Michael Kale she said she was never allowed to have a key to the front door, get a driver’s license or go to work.

“I go to Curves, I go to school. I guess the biggest thing is I talk to whoever I want to, and I have a voice that is able to be heard and that doesn’t have to shut up.”

Today, on the one-year anniversary of the life-changing and in Kale’s own words, “life saving” shooting, she will likely go swimming and reflect on the self-sufficient woman she’s become at the age of 44.

“They call me the poster child of the Y. I speak at luncheons, I’ve been on TV, I speak about domestic violence at fundraisers to get fundraising for the program I am in. But before I got here there were so many dead-ends. At first they told me they couldn’t pay for my pain medication from the pellets in my head! It took me three weeks to get that worked out,” Kale said.

It was the experience of those dead-ends that put her on a path to become a counselor herself. She has had to do her own leg-work in terms of figuring out how to pay for a divorce, finding out which doctors will accept payment from the victim’s fund she has, and she said she wants to reach out to other women to help make that process simpler.

“Everywhere you go you’d have to tell your whole story over and over, just for people to tell you ‘no.’ I want to share those experiences with other women so it’s not as hard on them,” Kale said.

Kale said she hasn’t had any communication with her children since the shooting, and they seem to somehow blame her for all that has happened.

Still, she has faith that they will come around in their own time. For now, her job as a cafeteria worker at the college helps her reach out to students of similar age, which always brings a smile to her face but can’t squelch the ache in her heart for her own kids.

“I miss them terribly; the holidays are hard. I chose to work on Thanksgiving, and Christmas is going to be hard,” Kale said.

But working has her acquainted with something else she’s never known: her own money and bank account.

“This is the first time I’m making money in 20 years. I have furniture, and nobody bought it for me. I did it all for myself. My independence is absolutely awesome,” she said, adding that every few weeks she’ll even treat herself to a trip to the nail salon.

“I’m just grateful to be alive. I don’t wish (Michael) anything bad, I just think it’s kind of ironic that he is where he is today. He’s under someone else’s thumb like I was under his, for so long. Now I have my freedom and he’s in his prison.”

In a year’s time, Kathy’s hair has grown back from where it was shaved, while doctors worked to remove pellets from her skull. On the outside there are no scars, and the injuries she’s suffered are no longer visible.

The amazing part is that she has forgiveness in her heart, and she has been able to draw strength from such a traumatic event. It is clear from her desire to become a Victims Rights Advocate and to help other women in need that the wounds on the inside are on the mend as well.